What are you willing to risk to seek the adventure of a life time? And what have you defined as a risky a adventure? Well I can say for sure that going to south Africa is a risk... but not in the sense of safety or loss, rather in the sense that your whole world will be exposed to the true nature of the planet, and that you will come away from this adventure with a keen sense and an expanded knowing that there is way way way more to life on this planet.
So to shed some light on the dark ages of information spread over the media.
Is Africa safe? Well yes! And here are some notes to prove why.
Last time South Africa was in a war I think was in 1902 so we haven’t pissed off too many nations yet.
We shipped all our terrorist to robin island (*good spot to visit while in Cape Town) and they came back as presidents! Our economy is in more danger than you.
We are so far away from anything that not even hurricanes or tornados bother coming for a visit.
Our roads were built by Sweden and Austria (apparently), they are such great quality that they make you pay to drive on them.
Our cops are so proactive that they drive you to the ATM for bribes!
Those who are concerned about being kidnapped... please don’t worry, I have been living in SA for over 30 years and still no one has taken any notice of me. I try really hard by wondering around on our beautiful beaches, or a high end luxury mall and on weekends I go all out by going to fancy restaurants and not one person has tried to take me anywhere. I’m starting to think I’m not that exciting or that rich.
We are very very diverse in culture and have a stretched paradigm between rich are poor. The township across the road from my luxury estate is so poor that every weekend they all get together and sing songs, play music, have soccer tournaments and just too damn happy all day! eish
However yes we do have some very unsafe areas. The great thing is these are easily avoided and far from any tourist areas and developed cities...it’s not like our main city is built on a fault line that you have total unpredictability on when it’s going to go off...yes California I’m talking to you!
Also since cars came out in 1990 we have all switched from riding elephants around to these 4 wheel beauties. Now most of them come with this GPS system, I tried it once and it took me the wrong way, but I think it’s because she was British.
Our main Cities for touring have these long complicated African names like Cape Town, Durban and Johannesburg...so please check with the team you in the right place.
And speaking of the British, the big yellow thing in the sky is The Sun! it is hot...very hot. Walking around like a human lobster is not sexy...it is entertaining though! Im sure there is a song about that, Violent Femmes – Blister in the Sun?
Yes we have amazing wild life. And yes where you going has super amazing wild life! Animal Talkers...please be aware that a domestic cat and a lion have a different language, so if you have not done your course on The Advanced Dynamics Of Multiple Lingual Wild Cats please don’t pet them...they bite. The Team at Legends have done the course so any guided tours you will be good.
I would be more worried about the Buck teeth (spiced corn), dried Wildebeest (biltong) and the bush coffee made from the excretes of elephants and by some miracle is alcoholic (coffee with Amarula crème)?
As for snakes, spiders and crawly things yes we be having them, and we be having a lot of them. Sad to say their social circles don’t include loud noisy humans. Australia has even more deadly animals than we do and these Ozzies are still running around the world! I know because they keep beating us in Cricket.
And just on a side note we are among the tops sports countries in the world. We even have a guy that is rated the no1 batsman in the world for cricket, his name is AB... but when he was born I think our alphabet only went to C... gratefully we have got to Z in 2008. And a note for the Americans in Africa you pronounce Z as Zed, and shouting doesn’t make people understand you...speaking their native language does (luckily english will get you pretty far in SA).
Petty crimes alert... if you have nice shiny things you are a target. But that doesn’t mean you can’t wear beautiful things. I walk around everywhere with a watch that’s over $5000 and rings worth more. And speaking of such things I bought my watch for a really great deal! Guy I know knows this other guy that knows a guy that deals in fine jewellery and watches. What was funny though is I was having a beer with a mate of mine the other day and he said he had a watch just like that, same scratch on the strap and everything...
At Legends and any other accommodation DON’T leave anything lying around! There are safes...use them. No matter how nice you think people are a wallet with cash is a wallet with cash and their cousins party is coming up this weekend!
If you walk around with your bag open or leave it out of sight you might find things missing. Generally, people are not very good at putting things in your bag here, we don’t have exciting things to transport like Mexico or Brazil. So be aware.
So other than that I welcome you to come explore our very exciting multi lingual and diverse country. We have 11 official languages, beautiful weather, stunning people and more activities and adventures than fat camp. Our wine is the best in the world, our beef is to die for, our vegetables and fruits actually come from our country and we are generally grateful to have visitors to our magical land!
So please choose this adventure... you will miss out if you don’t! and we will miss you!!
Big hugs Graeme Crosskill
p.s Apologies for the poor grammar and spelling...I did go to a school in Africa after all.